


Joke Me Something Awful

by pumpkinless



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Heart-to-Heart, Holding Hands, M/M, pre slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-15 10:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkinless/pseuds/pumpkinless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim might be a little depressed and suicidal, and he definitely has drinking problems, but he's still Bones' best friend anyway. For better and for worse, and all of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Joke Me Something Awful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OrderandLight (AngelofHomos)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=OrderandLight+%28AngelofHomos%29).



> And so I guess I really have to give up the whole "I swear I'm not going to start writing Star Trek fanfiction" thing I've had going on. Thanks, Rebecca.

“It,” Jim announces as he falls into his bed, “is a beautiful day to be alive.”

Bones sighs.

“Do you know what’s beautiful about it, Bones?”

Bones mutters something angrily under his breath.

“Everything.”

Silence.

Jim turns his head to look at Bones.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to ignore the sound of your voice bragging about whoever the hell you slept with last night.”

“No, not that,” Jim says, scrambling up off his bed to land next to Bones. He plucks the PADD from Bones and kicks his feet up into McCoy’s lap, frowning as he stares at the screen. “You hate programming.”

“Dammit, Jim, did you even take a shower this morning?” Bones snaps, shoving Jim away and grabbing back his PADD. “It’s for a class, now get the hell away from me before I use it to crack your skull.”

“Aww, Bones, if you wanted to use me for experimental medical procedures, all you had to do was ask,” Jim says, rolling straight back to where he was.

“You better watch yourself,” Bones snaps, but it’s a half-hearted threat at best. He stares moodily at his PADD for a moment, not doing anything with it just then. Jim waits patiently, eyes roaming over the ceiling while Bones figures out what he wants to say.

“Go take a goddamn shower at least if you’ve gotta lay there,” he says eventally, sighing to himself and settling back. “Smell like a whorehouse.”

Jim nudges Bones’ knee as he sits up. “I wasn’t actually with anyone last night, you know.”

Bones snorts.

“I…may have fallen asleep in a questionable location,” Jim admits, wincing at bit as he remembers the couch he woke up on. That had definitely not been his incredibly large and vaguely penis-shaped stain. He was just the poor bastard who fell asleep in it.

“You’re gonna have to give up the partying some day, you know,” Bones says, looking up to meet Jim’s eye. “Just ‘cause you got the best grades doesn’t mean—”

“Doesn’t mean I’ll be good for captain of a starship,” Jim finishes for him, cracking his knuckles slowly. “I know, I know. But, hey, I mean, it’s working for me, so why should I give it up?”

Bones shakes his head minutely but doesn’t say anything. It’s moments like these where Jim remembers that Bones is actually years older than him, with a kid and an ex-wife and an ugly past he’s left behind him. 

He deflates. “I know,” Jim says quietly. “I just…”

“You’re gonna be okay,” Bones says. “It’s gonna take you a while to be better again, sure, but you’re gonna make it.”

Jim laughs despite himself, the sound dark and ugly. “I guess you do have a lot of practice in that.”

He gets a shrug in response.

“Okay, I’ll admit low blow,” Jim says. “But I trust your professional opinion, doctor McCoy.”

“That’s not my professional opinion, you jackass,” Bones snarls suddenly. “That’s the damn truth, and I’m not sayin’ it just ‘cause I’m the one who has to hit you with a tranquilizer when you won’t sleep.”

Jim looks away. “Yeah, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Aren’t there regulations about that sort of thing?”

“You mean subduing upset drunks so they can get some rest before their exams in four hours?” Bones says dryly. “Surely there must be.”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it—”

“Jim, I’m gonna say this once and only once.” Bones sets his PADD delicately on the bed beside him before looking up. “You’re my goddamn friend. And even though I don’t always know why that is, I wouldn’t stick around through the late nights and the drinking if I didn’t care about you. So shut your mouth, go take the fucking shower, and leave me to study in peace.”

Jim forces himself to crack a grin, even though he suspects it’s breaking a little around the edges. “Aw, Bones, you’re my favorite, too, you know,” he jokes, schooling his face more appropriately, but Bones screws him over.

“I know,” Bones murmurs. “God knows why, but I know.”

Jim’s smile drops off his face as he looks away, but it’s not because he isn’t happy or anything. It just doesn’t seem like the right response anymore as he claps a hand on top of Bones’ with every intention of patting his hand once or twice and heading off to take a shower. But he stays, palm on the back of Bones’ hand, and it’s almost scary how comfortable the whole situation is.

“You’ll be okay, too,” Jim says awkwardly. Bones huffs out a short laugh, flipping his hand over so they’re palm to palm, holding hands like real people do now. 

“Get out of here. Go,” Bones says with none of his usual heat, and he squeezes Jim’s hand once before letting go. 

And so Jim laughs and goes.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Fall Out Boy's "I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)" which is the longest and most annoying title of a song ever, so I copy and pasted it. Originally posted on my tumblr.


End file.
